Updates...

So yes, I am aware that I have been super bad about updating. Life these past months has gotten so busy. I never have been as mentally of physically exhausted as I have been. I did some thinking and holy moly have there been so many changes in my life in just the past 1.5-2 years. They say that getting married, losing/getting a new job, having a baby and buying a new house are some of the most overwhelming and stressful times in ones' life. Well I guess I hit that out of the park then didn't I. See below the craziness

Nov' 11- got married
Dec' 11- lost job
Feb 12- got new job
Mar 12-got pregnant
Jan 13- had baby
Mar 13- got new job
July 13- bought a house

That is a lot when you lay it out on the line like that. I have never been one who is great at dealing with stress. I work on it, but it hasn't been one of my strengths so to face all of that and come out the other sides, with some minor "bruises or bumps" so to speak, but still in 1 piece. I think I should be proud.

A lot has been a learning experience,very trying and time. I have lost cries tears of sorrow, pain and joy and then sometimes I didn't even know why I was crying. Hormones=AWESOMENESS!! Haha. I am sure any woman post pardom knows what I am talking about. There have been so many times that you just scream out of frustration, or lose your patience/temper, you tend to snip at those you are closest with, become over sensitive one minute and then decide not to give a f*ck then next. Trying to balance motherhood, being a wife, a friend, a sister, a daughter and figure out who you are now is tough. It is like walking a tight rope with and elephant on your back.

The hardest thing to balance has been having a child of course. She is such a wonderful blessing and angel in my life, but also the hardest thing I have ever had to do is be a mother. She requires so much attention, affections, love, nurturing and most of all time and gives us a lack of sleep. Just when I feel like I am getting into a good "reliable" pattern then she will switch something up on us. But, I will say lately I feel like I am getting the hang of this and being able to balance better.

Now of course that goes with out saying that somethings or family or friends have unintentionally fallen on the back burner. It of course was never meant to be that way or for lack of caring/love and missing of things and people. It is just that all my priorities switched as they should becoming a mother and well having a child turned my life up side down. I know have to focus on my family and my daughter. And there is so little time left in the day once Brooklyn is asleep. And it is usually filled with checking email, doing chores, paying bills, dinner, etc., and then maybe spending some time with my husband or factoring in a workout. By 9pm most days I am beyond ready to go to sleep. And with a baby that doesn't sleep through the night-it leaves me always running close to E. I took for granted my sleep and rest before. I didn't think this would effect me so hard, but it has.

So I am still getting a grasp on this new "normal" and doing the best I can. Some days are better than others. I  miss having "me" time and being able to just pick up and go to the nail salon or go shopping or call a friend up and makes plans spur of the moment. My long phone calls that I could always rely on with some of my BFFs have fallen to the wayside as have those calls with my family as well. I am sure they all understand since most have been through this or will at one point in their life. And I hope that they cut this new mom some slack. But, still I think it is important that I do recognize it and try and do better. There is no saying that tomorrow might be worse, but I can always try again the next day.

So after all those introspective thoughts and mumblings of a new mom. Bottom line is I am tired with bags under my eyes that no concealer can hide, I am lacking time and 90% of the time I am run down. But I hold all of my lovelies in my heart and encouraged that things will get easier. I know that this is only temporary and soon I hope to get that "pep" back in my step and figure out this new life and mother hood one day at a time.